As “the
scene changes”, life hardens us in stages, in ways that only our friends can
appreciate. As babies we are sensitive to touch, to light, to being held by
strangers. We are taught at an early age to beware of strangers, not to talk to
them. As we grow, we begin to discern whether a stranger is a new friend to be
made, or eye contact to avoid.
Fortunately for many of us, as children, we faced few direct personal hardships that forced us to develop a coarse outer shell. I often find myself faced with children whose eyes tell of despair. No, I am not talking of the wailing for luxury or supplemental goods not garnered. I tell of hurt that seemed to have been handed down over the centuries, like a timeline of travels that will not reach a destination; and this is known even at the fragile age of (say) seven.
As such
children grow, they slowly learn, through trial and error, the beauty within
life, particularly if they encounter strangers who become friends and try to
guide them on a different path. Unfortunately growing in this way, in reverse,
so to speak, to learn beauty so late in life, to having missed giggling over
soap bubbles under sun showers, can set an adult on a course where each of life’s
future obstacles easily pierces through the outer shell.
So,
instead of being hardened, this person is being knocked down, easily defeated
by obstacles easily overcome by those who grew up protected with the illusion
that parents and family create for children. The unnatural progression from hard
child forward produces pain in whatever milieu this adult lands.
Our goal
as adults is to help children enjoy and learn beauty at a very young age, so
they too can slowly harden as they age.
Are you
up for the task?
Hardening Guichard
In life
we meet people who pass wisdom to you in such a way that you eagerly digest it.
Even though you were unsure how to immediately apply it, you knew to hold the
words and deeds.
Earl John Powell. I met Earl my
second semester in college. He was a well-respected visiting brother who showed
great compassion while expecting results. His words, mantra if I may, was, “Either
you pay now, or you pay later.” Over the years when faced with swallowing the
bitter pills that life offers, I always choose to pay now. Check out the work
he is doing on behalf of his father’s musical legacy.
Charmaine Bennett-Cadet. Yes, my wife
hardened me in ways that I never expected. Love is one of those “things” like
friendship that cannot truly be defined. You simply know it when you experience
it. In marriage, we get a greater good and within it, we face various
obstacles. We get a responsibility that manifests itself in many ways, in that
you take the hurt so that the other person doesn’t. If you aren’t HARD, you are
not cut out for marriage.
THE HOLIDAY SEASON
A season of giving,
not just thanks but of yourself, your compassion, your wisdom. Help each other
grow and life will return the favor. As usual, connect you and yours to me fora Real Estate need.